I’m facing a mountain.
It towers before me and everything around me seems to fall under its immense shadow. It seems almost impossible, when I look at it, for me to climb this thing and get to what’s waiting on the other side. I’ve been waiting, sitting at the bottom of the mountain for a while, considering my options.
The mountain is called money.
On September 27th (which is roughly 14 weeks away, in case you didn’t know) I will be arriving in Kansas City, Missouri to begin a Discipleship Training School with YWAM (Youth With A Mission). This is something I am hugely excited about as I truly believe this is God calling me to train and prepare for the next season of my life.
However, before I get there I have to pay for my visa, flights and school fees (which includes a 10 week outreach). A huge task. A mountain of a task. The kind of money it takes to cover all those costs is the kind of money that this little girl has only ever dreamt of.
It seems almost impossible, when I look at it, for me to climb this thing and get to what’s waiting on the other side. I’m doing it wrong. I’m focusing on the wrong thing. I’m looking at the mountain when I should be looking at the one who moves mountains. Nothing is impossible to God and because I live in Him, through faith in Him nothing is impossible to me either.
“Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” – Matthew 17:20
So I will close my eyes and focus on the mustard seed of faith that I have. And my money mountain will crumble.
If you would like to donate or find out more about my plans, please click here.
‘Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.’ – Proverbs 31:30
I love this scripture. I love it because it affirms my worth as a woman who fears The Lord and reminds me that the physical things of the world fade. However, I have been guilty in the past of twisting this scripture to fit my own needs. And I fear that I am not the only one.
On more than one occasion I and many others have uttered some variation of the following; ‘It’s ok that I’m not beautiful because I love The Lord and that’s what matters…’ If this doesn’t resonate with you, feel free to substitute loving The Lord for being really funny, intelligent, kind etc. But today, after a time of worship and prayer, I saw this for the lie that it is.
To say ‘Its ok that I’m not beautiful…’ is a lie. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to perpetuate the media perception that beauty is the most important thing to aspire to. ‘…beauty does not last…’ What I am saying however is that it is wrong to say ‘I’m not beautiful…’.
When we say these things, what we are really saying is; I don’t feel beautiful so I’m going to overcompensate with other things. But we are beautiful, every single one of us. It’s hard to comprehend sometimes when we look in the mirror and what we see doesn’t quite live up to expectation. But we were created, fearfully and wonderfully, in the image of God Almighty and according to His perfect plan. He sees us through His son Jesus and He delights in what he sees. His version of beauty is far beyond our earthly understanding, just as everything else.
So today I have learnt that it’s ok to say that I am beautiful. Not by any earthly standards, but in the eyes of my God. I am no longer willing to be comforted by the lie that says ‘its ok that I’m not…’ when the truth is I am, because He says I am.